My job as a police officer
required me to assist people suffering from mental illness. I witnessed firsthand
the impacts of schizophrenia, depression and bi-polar disorder on patients,
caregivers and families. There were times when the illness overwhelmed a person’s
life to the point that there was nothing left to do but call the police for
help. The most I could do was to request a crisis counselor or determine that
the patient was a threat to themselves or others and commit them to a mental
health facility. I chalked up what I learned to professional experience. This
would all change for me in August 2001. (I share this with the permission and
support of my wife, Marjorie.)
In 2001, Marjorie and I were in
the middle of our twelfth year of marriage. Our three daughters were 10, 6 and
3. Like all married couples, we had our ups and downs and, on occasion, worked
with a counselor to better support each other and stand by our commitment of
marriage. In the months leading up to August 2001, it seemed like the
strategies to communicate were no longer working. Marjorie was struggling with
depression and it was more then we could manage on our own. Together we went to
a psychiatrist and learned that she was suffering from Bi-polar Disorder. Bi-Polar
Disorder is characterized by mood swings that fluctuate between depression and
anxiety. Bi-Polar events occur when the two states happen at the same time.
These times lead to the inability for the patient to think rationally.
Marjorie’s condition went
undiagnosed for at least sixteen years. We suffered as a family for twelve of
them. The psychiatrist told us that based in the severity of Marjorie’s
condition we had already beaten the odds. It was his experience that people
this sick were divorced, addicted to drugs and alcohol or worse. I told the
doctor that it was by the grace of God that we made it to this point. My
commitment to Marjorie, and her commitment to me, was not going to be shaken
because of Bi-Polar.
Ephesians 5:25-28 became very
real for me, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and
gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with
water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church,
without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this
same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves
his wife loves himself.”
Today, we continue to live with
Bi-Polar and manage the illness together. We share our experience with college
students studying to be marriage and family therapists and community groups to
help them understand the impacts of mental illness. Over the years, our
openness about living with this illness created more opportunities than we can
count to come alongside others who are both patients and caregivers. God moves
through us to help others find peace when nothing else seems to make sense. We know that God is with us even when the realities of living with a mental illness overwhelm us.
“Two are better than one, because
they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help
them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one
keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A
cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
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